This is my history as its happened couple of months ago, never shared it with anyone, but I thought I might. I won’t mention her name as she is resting in peace right now. I was hitting on a girl and felt so good. I could sense the love in the air and I knew she was hitting on me too. I mean, it’s something you can sense ;). We would spend hours being together, talking on the phone but never thought at any moment something bad was eyeing us just around the corner.
One day, as I wake up from a good night, I decided to pay a visit to my girl. All happy and singing (I love to sing especially when I feel good), I did my usual thing, dressing up myself. I poured my favorite perfume, Body Kouros from Yves St Laurent, all over me. I wanted to invade her mind just by laying her nose on my neck. I think I was in love. At the same time it felt like when I was young, discovering my first relationship, my first kiss, the first time I saw love in the eyes of a girl and it looked like a deep ocean, just beautiful.
Deep down, I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I was too happy, everything seems too perfect. Maybe the thought that this love could go wrong so quickly for no reason as this world we live in is just crazy. I went to her house later and God, I never thought this would turn to be the worse day of my life. And it was just the beginning.As soon as I opened the door, I saw everyone crying I couldn’t help myself but asking what went on? They looked at me and said, we found your girlfriend dead yesterday. I was so sad, so mad, so angry, so everything. I couldn’t even cry because I wanted to know how and why and who did what.
After a little while with the family which were obviously disoriented I had to go home because I had the left the family and of course, the police had to hear me out too. As her boyfriend, I was suspect number one. As I speak to you, I never knew what really happened to her, if she committed suicide, if she was killed or something, they just didn’t tell me anything. So when I got interviewed by the police, they asked me where I was the day before and if I saw her. I think I must have been panicking but guess what? I couldn’t remember anything.
I didn’t want to say something under pressure that would not be precise. So I had to think a lot which put me more onto the A-list suspect. But I just didn’t know anymore if I saw her that day or not. Maybe because I wanted to remember only the good days and didn’t want to accept that she was gone. The police version to the parents put more pressure on them to incriminate me and mind you, they started to see me as the devil. So in my mind I had just couple of time left to find my alibi. I had to feed them with something valuable. But the truth was I had nothing.
I started to live this simple but busy life where I was focussing on landing a big project. So how could I have been outside pretending having an Alibi? I wish they could have asked her where she was at that right moment, why me? And I started to have the wrong questions in my mind as why did I get with her, why this, why that. Specially that I am black, I had less of a chance to survive this episode. But like they said, there is a God for everyone no matter the dimension.
I started to run there and there to remember things and find the right element to give to the police but one thing for sure I was not with her that night. I started to say to myself, I will never be in a relation again, why is it happening to me. And for days I was persecuted by the family because they started to think we had a fight and maybe things went wrong at that moment. Around the third day, I just couldn’t keep on going anymore and had to set it up right with the family. I went to their home to explain myself and to hell; I just didn’t know what else to do.
As I opened the door, and went in, I saw everyone together again making faces. I started to explain myself, I cried and told them that I really wasn’t with her and that I couldn’t find an alibi but I just wasn’t with her, they had to believe me. Next thing I know, they started to laugh at me and said it was a joke and that she was not dead. I couldn’t be mad, I just felt relieve and thought it was a good lesson for me. I came so close to go to jail for a murder I did not commit and then I waked up. I swear I never wanted to sleep again. I never went so deep into a dream. It felt like forever. I thought I should share this old dream with you after watching Inception yesterday. It’s a must watch movie.
PS: I never mentioned her name because she didn’t have a name in my dream not even a face I just loved her. 🙂
Thanks for following me, see you in the next edition 😉 C.D I dedicate this post to Patrick Z.